Lent freedom!

So. It's less than a week into Lent...and I'm figuring that many of you have probably given something up for Lent, right? How is that going? Feeling good? Feeling stressed? So far...I've heard most people saying that they are starting to feel the pains from what they gave up.

For Lent, I decided to give up eating out. I decided it was ok for me to order beverages at restaurants, I just can't order food (I threw that in there so I could at least have the social aspect of going out to eat and not be a jerk to the waiter/waitress by not ordering anything). I decided that this was what I was giving up several weeks before Lent began, and when I would tell people what I was doing they would always have the same reaction: "That is going to be SO HARD!" ....I don't know if they were saying that because they thought it would be hard for me or if they thought it would be hard in general....I'm hoping it was the latter one.

And if I can be honest, I was looking forward to Lent and giving up going out to eat. I knew that it was becoming way too main of a source of my diet so it was hurting my health and hurting my checkbook! I was so excited for the day that I could finally decline going out to eat since I had given it up for God! Otherwise I would have just stuck to my typical ways.

Then it dawned on me...all of these people who are struggling to give up something for Lent...while I'm feeling a great sense of freedom even though it's something most people are telling me would be a burden...and I wonder if everyone could feel the same way as me? If everyone could find something "bad" for them to give up where they could feel freedom rather than pain? Most people give up something that they know isn't good for them but what they do anyways - such as drinking pop or eating sweets - and most people really struggle with giving these up. Maybe it's because even though they know it's bad for them...they don't think it's that big of a deal to actually need to give it up? Like it's not hurting them enough that they should have to give it up...and maybe I was just in the right place since I was sick of eating out so much and wanted to give it up and knew that with the upcoming Lent that it was a reason good enough for me to give it up.

Abstaining from harmful things for the sake of God gives us strength and gives God glory. I haven't heard of anyone giving up something that was good for them...so I hope that you find some freedom in what you gave up for Lent. I know I will have a few times when I will struggle with the fact that I cannot eat out, but I know that I am going to feel much more freedom from this experience than feeling like it is a burden. And maybe that is what Lent can be about - gaining that amazing freedom that comes by the time we reach Easter morning...rather than only the somberness of the Lenten season leading up to it.

Happy Lent everyone!

you are remembered...

One thing you can always count on in this world is death...sad, but true. And the older you get...the more you see it. Last year, I lost one of my high school friends on February 5th to a suicide, and four years ago on February 12th, my college roommate lost her brother to a car accident. So for my blog today...I would like to repost my blog about my friend from last year, and I'd like to say a little something about my friend who lost her brother.

It was the spring semester of my junior year at college. For whatever reason, I chose to take a full day of classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I was up bright and early to get ready for my 8 am class. Before leaving the apartment, I would usually check my email to make sure I hadn't received any emails from professors regarding class that day...and there was an email from my previous roommate. We had a pretty close group of friends involving all of us that lived on the same floor freshmen year - and she had emailed all of us saying: "I might not be around this next week. My brother died last night, so I am going home today and will be there for awhile."

Imagine my shock! First off, I was wondering why in the world she hadn't called all of us immediately rather than emailed...and secondly, I felt such heartache for her losing her brother. I went and woke up my roommate to tell her and then began to call all of our friends who wouldn't have seen the email yet.

Our group of friends came together that night to pray for the family and for her brother...and then within the next few days we went to the visitation. It's so surreal when these things happen, and we did what we could to be there for her...and to help her work through all of the emotions with this tragedy. Within the first few months, I told her that I felt like we could never completely comprehend or "get over" the death of those so close to us...that we would still struggle with it in different ways for the rest of our life.

Last year I received a call from this friend around this time...and when I let our conversation regarding our current life updates up come to a little lull, she finally said why she had really been calling: to remind me that it was the anniversary of her brother's death. I received that same call again this year, and I felt honored to have received it. I'm not sure who else she called, but the fact that she felt like I was someone who would listen and care for her as she once again processes the emotions related to her brother's death was great.

This Friday, I am planning on joining her as she travels to her hometown to visit her brother's grave again. I'm pretty sure it will be emotional...even though it has been four years.

Rest in peace, Joe Hartmann and Mike Winans. You are both still greatly missed.