Part DeuxContinuing from the subject of yesterday...and how we leave marks that we are unaware of on people ...I am now going to look at the positive side. Once again, this will involve me - but this time it will be someone who left a mark on me.
Let me paint a picture - I was at my graduation party (which, for the record, I completely messed up - I definitely did not mingle as well as I should have, either way...), enjoying the party and pointing people towards "key areas" - like the pictures we put up, etc...then, my great-uncle arrived. I always got along well with my great-uncle, but I didn't know him extremely well, and I didn't think that he knew much about me, my accomplishments or my activities throughout high school... He walked up to me, and when he came up, he said, "Wow! Is this Molly? You can't be Molly, you look so beautiful and mature!" I knew he knew it was me - we saw each other more often than every 10 years - but even so, I was shocked at his words. (That's not the exact quote, but it went along those general lines - something regarding beauty, brains, maturity)
I was so taken aback by his words. As I said, I'd always liked my great-uncle, but I had never known that he was so impressed by my accomplishments or what I had done with myself at that point in my life. I was shocked by his praise for me...and that moment has stuck in my head. I can remember where I was standing, what his expression looked like, and exactly how I felt when he was saying those things. I remember my joking laughter when I replied, "Yes, it is me!" And how he continued to compliment me after I admitted that I was who he said I was.
After that day, I was his new #1 fan. I saw him in a completely different light. I never saw him the same after that moment...I felt like I could never repay his kindness. Throughout the next 5 years, I did my best to stay in touch with him while I was away at college. I'd ask my dad how my great-uncle was doing every now and then, I'd email my great-uncle (yup, he jumped onto the computer craze! His emails were always very cute), and I made sure that I tried to see him whenever possible. Last year, he went into the hospital right around Thanksgiving...I went to visit him on Thanksgiving, and we had high hopes that he would recover. A few weeks later, we learned that he wouldn't be getting better, since he had a huge tumor eating through his ribcage. They gave him less than 6 months....after that point, I went home whenever possible. I went, and I visited this man - a man I knew almost nothing about...all I knew was that he was family, he had given me the best compliment of my life, and he needed me during his illness. I knew limited facts about his life - I knew he was my grandma's youngest brother, that he had served in WWII, that he golfed, he had owned and operated a small bar in town, and that he was probably the kindest man I'd ever met.
The compliment he gave me may not be the "best" compliment I've ever received in actuality, but it is the compliment that has stuck the most in my mind because it came out of nowhere (at least in my head) and because he didn't have to say those things to me. He could have said, "Hi," and some regular pleasantry....but no, he chose to say those words. If he hadn't said those few sentences to me, my perception of him over the past 5 years would have been completely different, and when he became sick, I would have been sad, but instead - because of what he said to me those 5 years ago, I was devastated. I felt cheated out of time to get to know this amazing man more. The last time I got home to see him, he was so sick and had lost so much weight that his dentures didn't even fit (I didn't know that was even possible) - I nearly broke down crying right then, but I wanted to stay strong for him and have his last memories of me involve me smiling and not crying. He died a few weeks after my final visit...and I never got to say to him what I wanted to say, such as a thank you for those words he said to me almost 5 years before at my graduation.
I got through a tight-throated "Amazing Grace" at his funeral, I completely lost it during 'Taps' out at the freezing cold cemetery, and I said goodbye to a man who had meant so much to me, but who never knew how much he affected my life. What surprises me even more, is that none of my family seems to have noticed my complete 180 towards him...I went from merely acknowledging his presence to seeking him out. Either way, I guess they will now know why the change occurred.
Well, this blog has covered several topics from previous blogs, and another one it covers is a previous blog about death...his funeral is one reason why I don't think that we can really grasp death...because my great-uncle, Bob Hotchkiss, has completely changed me through a few small sentences. How can I ever grasp that he's gone, when he has forever left his mark on me and my memories?
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
(Side note: this picture is from a card he sent home to his mother while he was stationed in Germany during the war. He mentions on the card that he doesn't like how he took his picture - he would have rather been looking at the camera and smiling :)
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