Build On a Rock Before a Storm Hits

Well, today I'm going to touch on a bit of a depressing subject - death. Throughout this year, almost an entire generation on my dad's side of the family has been "wiped out." While I was growing up in Fergus, I got to know my grandparents and my grandma's siblings very well - her entire family had stayed in the Fergus area their entire lives, so they were extremely close and were always at each other's social events - whether it was golfing, being out on the lake, or other various activities.

Maybe some of you were able to grow up in a family where you were able to really get to know your extended family too - and I don't know about you, but I feel very fortunate to have been given the opportunity to get to know each of them better than most people get to know their great-aunts and uncles. Sure, some of them could be considered the "black sheep" of the family, and there are always the family politics that go along with it, but through it all - they're still family.

I bring up the subject of death, because my family has once again lost a member from this generation this past week. There were 8 people in this generation (counting my grandma and her three siblings and their spouses), since 2004 we have lost 5 of these members - 3 of them being within the past 7 months. As I sit here typing, I still cannot comprehend that these people are gone from my life. I cannot comprehend that they are gone from this earth until the day that I die.

Maybe some of you haven't had to deal with death much - I know I had only attended 2 funerals before I went to college - one for a great-aunt and one for my other grandpa. I have been lucky enough not to have lost anyone in my immediate family, and I have no idea how I will handle it when that day comes. I really believe that death is not something that people can truly comprehend - lots of people disagree with me on this, but for me that's how it is. I almost equate it to how I cannot understand the infiniteness of God - I cannot understand the fact that these people are gone from my human life.

I go through the motions of my life after these deaths, and our family traditions change (such as where holidays are held), but I can never comprehend that these people are gone because I still have a piece of them with me. It doesn't hit me that they are not here, since they have already fully changed me through knowing them. Of course, I miss them, I realize I'm not going to see them again... but I have them in my memories, and my mind cannot grasp that I will not see them in human form again. Maybe my brain is telling me that I will see them again when we are together after death…who knows.

I realize I cannot call them up or go see them physically, but I still know what I would say to them, and sometimes I think I know what they would say. To me then, I can't truly grasp that they are gone, because they have left their wisdom, their mannerisms, and part of themselves with me…as well as the others they left behind.

Everyone handles death differently, and I think that helping people deal with grief may be my weakest ability. The one thing I do feel I do well to help people deal with grief is to just sit and to listen - I try not to talk much, because I think when people deal with death, that they just want to share, to remember, and I think that just sitting there and letting that person know that you are there to talk to them can do wonders. I've received various email forwards that have included a story about a boy whose elderly neighbor had recently lost his wife. The man was sitting on his front porch crying and this little boy went over and sat on the man's lap as he cried. Once the boy came back home, his mother asked him what he had said to the man, and the boy replied, "Nothing. I just helped him cry." Sometimes, those moments when we simply give our presence and not our words can make all the difference.

Yes, I'm sure you're sitting there saying, "Um, Molly, remember yesterday when you told us that silence isn't golden?? Now you're telling me that silence can be golden…which do you want it to be?" Well, I want to say that silence can go either way, and this is more so saying that our PRESENCE speaks volumes sometimes more than whether or not we said anything. Throughout my years of holding leadership roles, I have learned that just being somewhere is sometimes all I had to do rather than whether or not I said something to the people I was there for. Our support through our presence is sometimes the most moving thing to the person we are trying to help.

I really feel a sense of peace with death. This doesn't mean that I do not cry when others die (sometimes I have even started crying just watching a funeral procession to the cemetery, and I'm not even sure if I would be able to handle cantoring for a funeral without crying...), but I do feel a sense of peace that God's will is perfect. When the person who died is older, I feel like they were blessed with such a long life, and I hope that they lived a good life that allowed them to know the love of God. When it is someone who is younger, I experience a lot more sadness, but I still trust in God's love for us and his will.

I think people's true faith can be seen when the unexplainable happens - they either cling to their faith or they reject their faith and question how God could do this. I feel strong in my faith, and I believe that if the unexplainable happened that I will cling to my faith and trust in God. Part of this hope stems from watching the amazing faith of my friend's family when her brother died at a young age. Seeing a whole family join together and praise God for this life rather than reject God as being cruel for taking away this life…it's an amazing thing to see, and it gives a person hope that this reaction could be true in our own lives if it ever occurs.

I realize that not all of you have had to deal with death yet, some people are fortunate enough to not have a friend or family member die until they are out of high school…but the chances are very good that one of your friend's will have to deal with death before they are 18. Your presence, your support, your shoulder to cry on, your sympathy card, or your listening ear could make all the difference to this person who is having to deal with death. The one thing I do believe with death, is that only our faith in God and our belief that we will rise again on the last day with our brothers and sisters in Christ will get us through the pain that death leaves behind on earth.

Today, I encourage you to consider the strength of your own faith - if the unexplainable happens in your own life, are you going to be able to praise God through the storm? Or are you going to question God's plan and turn your back on him? If you think that your faith isn't strong enough, or that maybe some of your loved ones' faith isn't strong enough, now is the time to strengthen your faith as well as their's - now is the time to build up your foundation - because when the day comes and the storm hits - your preparations are what will sustain you, and without your foundation…you will be washed away.

Today's verse is a quote from Jesus in Matthew 7:24-27
"'Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.'"